Based on common sense standards, stress is the same, like it for adults or children. It was definitely not feeling well, such as difficulty falling asleep, more aggressive, more sensitive, the rise of tension, dizziness, or decreased enthusiasm for life. The same thing we will get on how stressful it is enabled. According to the law of life, stress is a neutral function, depending on how stressful it will function, like that to the positive or to negative, it's up to the person. The difference is, adults may have pocketed so that the mechanisms of how stress function, from the knowledge, experience, or expertise. Meanwhile, children may only control mechanism that is still very limited. Associated with mechanisms that function then the term positive stress and negative stress, such as we are discussing here.
Positive Stress is the pressures that make us more positive, eventually. For example, more encouraged to pursue the target, thoroughness, more creative, more disciplined, or more mature, and so on. In contrast, negative stress is a variety of pressures that make us more depressed, getting worse, both physically, intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually, more chaotic, and more backward.
Something else that is somewhat different between children and adults in understanding stresssor. Some of the specific events that may be adult enough stresssor, but for the kids mediocre. Conversely also, there may be events for adults are less of an stresssor, but for the children is not so.
The differences arose because of differences in interests, the range of knowledge, understanding, and the illusion of life. Many volunteers have found no signs of stress that is so severe in children who became victims of the disaster area. Precisely those adults who look stressnya.
So is the case of divorced parents. Often, like "pity" that the adults around them, or are watching them on television. Maybe these kids not to the illusion of life as complex as adults. Only, although the aura of stress is not very visible, but the development of his soul a little more experience obstacles. This is because the child's development that would more or less related to the development of the parent. The simple logic, if parents are difficult, the child also difficult. Parents who are stressed can hardly be expected to have a good relationship with the children, but that's a very involved relationship.
Stresssor For Children
In some very specific things, the children have different sources stresssor adults. As we mentioned above, this may be more related to the nature, needs, or scope. Stresssor sources that are specific to children include school lessons. School could potentially be stresssor when the lesson is given in large quantities, in a very short time, or in a manner that poses a threat according to the understanding of children.
Although in fact he was able to do it or have the capacity to solve them, but about the amount, timing, and how can pose problems. Many children who drop in value when he actually could. This may be a bit like work stress in adults, where there is a load / pressure imbalance with the capacity and resources.
System of teaching in schools today is different from our day, the exam only twice a year. They can be up to 4 times more. If you schedule an exam the next day a teacher, and teacher B homework gives a polynomial, could have led to stress in children.
It is also often a source of stresssor is social. In schools as good as any, there is still a social space which is beyond the control of teachers. The difference is only in the large-small space. The better the school, the better the control well, roughly.
His name is also the children, some among them who had an innate perpetrators of bullying (bully), may also have to carry the characteristics of victims of bullying (weakness, defeat, etc.). Association that poses a threat, fear, unbalanced, and others, very likely lead to stress.
Another thing is the parenting or family circumstances. Model of care that has been didekte by excessive ambition, excessive anger, or jealousy towards other children, it is possible to stresssor.
The indifferent attitude of parents to create a relationship that is felt by children as well as the potential to become stresssor indifference. Marital relationship is not healthy conflict-ridden, the more chronic, it is also a potential source stresssor when all that was spread on poor parent-child relationship.
For children who are "unlucky fate", did not rule out going into a depression or stress is mounting and long lasting. For example, parents are fighting to continue an unhealthy, stern-stern teacher, too. Already then, he was no problem with his theme and his homework piling up. It is very necessary for us to anticipate.
On the other hand, we also still have to think that not all stressors are bad for our children. Perhaps that is the life which he must pass or the "education of the Lord". Directs how we live God's response to education in a positive way to get a positive benefit.
Too quick to take responsibility of the child in the face of stressors (protective), this will not guarantee good results. Might even make a living experience of poor children who are basically bad for children.
Some Symptoms of Stress in Children
Exposure of some experts, there are some common symptoms that we can use as a reminder / attention if your child is facing stresssor or not. Or, at least, we need to intensify dialogue to verify or confirm their feelings.
For children who are still in elementary school, some symptoms include:
- Reluctant to attend school
- Lying without acceptable reason common sense
- Stealing is an indication of impingement kengawuran (losing control)
- Not the spirit of learning or lack of concentration studied
- The loss of a zest for life, so fussy, ngambekan, or not at peace with the state
- Attitudes tend to be opposed
- Hyperactivity
- Bedwetting
- Problem eating
- Easy to complain of pain, such as dizziness, abdominal pain, or other pain
For children who have started a teenager, maybe the end of Grade 6 or earlier entered junior high school (grade 7), we need to observe the symptoms include: a sickly or have many physical complaints, there are behavioral problems, such as prominent naughty , excessive shyness, fear or anxiety, irritability or rapid loss of self control, or lazy to learn.
If she had activities outside the home is beyond parental control, or too free, it may be potentially very harmful to them. Many dangers that engulfed early teens because of the influence of the association.
Some Ways to Help Those
Outside of what we need to do to help children, we need to ask first is what they are thinking to solve the problem. Purpose of the question was not to find the best answer according to us, but to train them led to independence, the minimum in thinking.
In order for the atmosphere and the process of exploration and creative, we need to avoid is the answer or the judge displayed an underestimate, as if the answer is no substance, or immediate cut. Precisely what we need to show is a good listener and stimulate them with questions that make them motivated to think how to find the solution of the problem.
Especially for social problems, not with friends or teachers, we need to avoid is an all-out to defend it or blame it out. Defending no reason to weaken the mental.
Instead, blame the children who are exposed to problems can bring out the feeling nobody helps them. We need to do is focus on the issues and how problems were resolved in a way that makes him smarter or more mature. For the things we need to do as a favor, we can formulate strategies or measures based on their needs. Just as a reference / option, we can refer to the points below:
- Anticipating: helping them with homework or teach in ways that are easier to learn, the more cooperative relationship with the classroom teacher, often in dialogue in order to quickly detected the problem, show genuine concern and support. It can be anticipated stresssor.
- Direct, such as explaining the meaning of or direct the positive attitude. This fitting is used to describe stresssor that had to be accepted, such as death, disaster, or a friend's departure.
- Improve the mental mechanism or strategy. It's fitting to train the child who was a social problem which we are still not yet discussed with the school
- Motivate or encourage him to follow with a real program. For example, the value falls or school punished for his error. We need to do is invite him to increase the quantity or quality of learning. Without a real program, we might lie to them.
- Reported to the school / teacher. If the class is already the practice of bullying is ignored or outside the control of teachers. If there are other children who also become victims, we need to encourage parents to discuss the solution with the school. But, as children, then our focus is the problem and solution, not to his son.
There is a concept that we can translate short sevariatif possible to help them cope with stress. Actually this is also appropriate for adults like us. The concept of the short of it is:
- Allowing, for the things that have not be changed.
- Do something, to do things that can still be changed or altered
- Anticipate the occurrence or effect that can be stresssor.
Only, it takes the process. We can not send children to forget or let something that he thought it hit him. Let also need a process. In many ways, the role of time becomes important.
Different Generations different stressors
It seems not right if we always thought our children were already away from the stressor because life is so much better than our first. In some ways, they are better than us, but for certain things, he's not better than us.
First, our problem may be lack of facilities, such as a school have to walk for miles. But now the problem is bad and the demands of competence and competition. Many children who have to work hard for the school. In essence, every generation there own problems and there are chances of its own. God refers to Himself as a Educator of the universe. As an educator, would distinguish the problems and opportunities. May be useful.
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