The country is so phenomenal, it may seem so far with our daily lives. In fact, acts of violence and neglect against children that could have happened in front of our eyes everyday, or even inside your own home. We begin to wonder if our actions have been classified as abusive or still reasonable. To that end, let us first examine the definition.
Definition
By James Vander Zanden in his book Human Development (1989) mentions the definition of abuse (violence / torture) as a physical attack (can cause injury) and was done deliberately by people who should be the care taker. David A Wolfe in his book, Child Abuse, said that the maltreatment of children can take the form of physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and neglect (neglect). Neglect can be interpreted as a lack of attention to social, emotional and physical proper, which has been properly received by the child. The psychiatrist who gathered in the Community Association for Preventing Violence in Children in the UK (1999) argues that the neglect of children is also an attitude of torture but rather passive. The effects of child abuse or neglect of causation are equally bad.
Against Child Neglect
Ignoring the child was classified as torture because of the neglect, the child did not get their rights, whether it's right to be loved, to live, grow, to get an education and schools, safety, health, protection, have a future, and so on. Allowing and or encouraging children to consume alcohol, drugs (illegal drugs), cigarettes and anything that is harmful to the health of children is considered negligence actions. We can not minimize the impact of neglect on comparing violence because both have the potential damage and harm to child survival.
One study of neglect also explains that let kids do antisocial action, letting kids skip school or do not want the school for no reason, leaving the child unattended man, woman, ignoring the child and not to talk to her, discriminating affection and concern among child- children themselves are categorized as neglect.
Infants separated from their parents and do not get a replacement (eg, new parents who also love and protect them, provide security and to build an emotional attachment), the possibility of adaptation could potentially run into problems later in life. According Wenar (1991), lack of adequate care after the formation of the bond of love between a child with a caregiver will lead to deviant behavior, because the impact of such loss is perceived as a rejection or abandonment. With the capacity is still limited understanding of an event will, the child will interpret the event as a rejection of him, he was not valuable enough so it does not deserve to be loved. This is no time to be fixed if it continues, it will cause problems, especially in the formation of one's identity and self-adjustment in their lives in the neighborhood
Children Against Torture
All parents must at times feel angry towards her. Address the child's behavior is not easy. Just by saying "no" it is not necessarily able to reduce the irritating attitude. In the face of attitudes and behavior which is difficult for many parents who are out of control, so to say or do anything that might harm the child so that they regret later. If this situation is often repeated, it is said to be child abuse, both physically and mentally.
The definition of torture applies to violence / torture to the level and intensity as well as a variety of actions and impacts. Action could be pinching, slapping, hitting, throwing, burning, ignited by cigarettes, aggressively attacking the child, punish excessively, slam and many other terrible acts, while emotional abuse can be done in the form of criticism, reproach, insult, etc.; or harassment sexual. Physical effects ranging from minor injuries, severe wounds to injuries resulting in death, while the psychological effects such as low self-esteem, trauma, and other forms that will be discussed in detail elsewhere in this article.
Causes
Why some parents to abuse or neglect their children have the heart? According to common sense and is supported by the opinion of some experts, parents who do that must have had some reason the background, or historical that could potentially trigger violence not only against the child, perhaps also the spouse. Let us try to examine what conditions can encourage this child abuse.
1. Unhealthy parenting
Parents who are highly authoritarian, not allowing children to express themselves, and often their parents impose its will on the child regardless of compatibility with the situation, needs and character of children. Imposing attitude patterns, rituals and rules without providing space for renewal and flexibility can lead to tensions between parents and children.
2. Immature character
Many of the perpetrators of these violent acts are the parents that infantile kanakkan. Although old age but the mindset, attitudes, actions are like children, such as impulsive, reactive, emotional, tantrums, etc.. A teenager (even those who are old enough too), could potentially have problems like this while raising her own if she still wanted to be center of attention.
3. Emotional problems
Prolonged problems that are not completed could cause stress to exceed the threshold of parental mental endurance that triggers both acts of violence or neglect. Moreover, if the threshold is low parental mental toughness, the emotion is easily broken up to their parents lose control of themselves.
4. Illicit drug use
Families that alcoholics tend to be more unstable and unpredictable behavior. Any rule can be changed at any time, and often easy to deny the promises ever made. Similarly, the upbringing of the child's parents. Parenting often fickle applied inconsistently, and there is no room for family members to express their feelings as it is because of the restrictions and prohibitions to discuss the "bad" family.
Often other members are required to keep a secret so no one knows. This situation of course makes the depression, frustration, anger, discomfort and anxiety in the hearts of his children. Often children think they have done something wrong that caused the parents have a bad habit. As a result, distrust, difficulty expressing emotions appropriately, and the difficulty of close social relationships and true, an issue that carried over into adulthood. According to research some of the experts, the children of these families are more at risk to develop the habit alkoholismenya in adulthood than children from families who are not alcoholics.
According to research Chaffin, Kelleher and Hollenberg (1996), drug addicts are reported to be the most common factors considered to be the cause of abuse and neglect of children and do not care which way is right or wrong. Especially when it's on the level of dependence, it is easy to lose all common sense. If you've lost your mind, anything can happen, either beat their wives and children, families spend a share of operating money, the words harsh and painful, destroying objects that are valuable means for children (toys, radios, etc.). Worse yet, after making the move people often hide behind the word mistake, but sane and sober when deciding to drink and drugs jamming.
5. Parental psychiatric problems
Psychiatric problems that plague one of the parents is certainly impact the growth and mental development of children. Not only that, parental psychiatric problems would affect patterns of interaction and communication that exists in the family. In a review of systems theory, if one family member suffered psychiatric problems, will automatically affect the other family members and causes changes in various aspects of family life.
Rose Cooper, a researcher named Thomas who conducted research on the relationship between mother and child, found that mothers who experience a mental disorder Schizophrenia (with a tendency indifferent behavior), it tends to produce a child whose behavior is rebellious, wicked, distorted, or even anti-social . But instead some are withdrawing their children to be like, passive, dependent and less tractable. Other researchers also found that mental disorders result in a disruption of the mother of the child's identity development.
The same discovery also revealed that the Obsessive Compulsive disorder experienced by the elderly is closely related to their attitudes toward child neglect. Therefore, Obsessive Compulsive disorder makes it a lot more people thinking about and doing rituals on the responsibility of raising children. Another study conducted by Chaffin, Kelleher and Hollenberg (1996) on children whose parents have depression or psychopathology. According to them, parents who are depressed often found physical abuse against their children. Their children also reported experiencing problems such as depression, interpersonal problems, bizarre behavior and having problems at school or in the study.
Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP) is a mental disorder that is usually experienced by women, in this case a mother to her child (usually in infants or children under age 6 years) and usually result in the child must get serious treatment in the hospital. The disease was first described by Meadow in 1977 was detected pathological elements that lie in the everyday life of the mother since the first until now.
In severe cases, the children are constantly exposed to situations that threaten the safety of his soul, and the mother are doing from the outside it looked gentle and sincere. Dangerous mental disorder that can result in the death of his son because in many cases it was found that the mother's heart to lock up (or stifling) and poisoning the child as evidence of the doctor that her son was really sick.
Indeed, in these cases are often found in the history of antisocial behavior disorders in the mother, who caused his own experience of parenting is one of the parents first. In other cases there is evidence that in fact the mother had somatic disorders such as for example (in medical terms) neurotic disorders, hypochondria, or other disorders that are false). It was also found that mothers who would do this to his son was experiencing a severe personality disorder.
Mental disorder experienced by older people who are aggressive often especially bring the atmosphere of terror in the child's life, especially if any cruelty or violence that happens at random and unpredictable occurrence. As a result, of course it is difficult for children to develop self-confidence and trust in others because they are hard to find an environment that gives a sense of security.
6. Marital problems
One of the greatest happiness in life is to feel warm and full of affection from people who are loved. But everyone can not always feel this way, especially if they are in families experiencing complicated issue that affects not only the family harmony, but the impact to the emotional lives of its members.
As a result, each family member feel the increasing burden of mental or emotional stress continuously increases from day to day. This mental burden will be heavier in families that the atmosphere seemed tense, as in the grave, no one has dared to express emotions and thoughts, and no discretion to act. None of this openness will only increase the tension of each family member.
The experts who adhere to understand systems theory holds, that is true, if people see a child that seems problematic, whether it's adjustment problems, learning problems or other issues, which have sought to know the actual cause is not in itself the source of the child, but rather on parents and the interactions that occur within the family. Because, the real problem child is a sign of irregularities in the family relationship itself. So, the problems displayed by children represents a dysfunction that occurs in family life.
7. Other personal problems
Nowadays a lot of problems that can become emotional and irrational reasons for the action a person, such as the economic crisis, debt, prices of goods go up, rents go up, while prices dropped for lack of self-employment and income. But again, the ability of the parents find out the right way and a healthy, depending on internal factors, such as creativity, mental endurance and fighting spirit, motivation, self-control, and several other factors (see article: dodging the tough times).
In today's times, torture and neglect of children is not only happening at home, but can also occur in schools and in the organization. Cases of suicide and murder and torture that occurred in the school environment has to be evidence that the acts of violence against anyone weaker party, were widespread. It is time for everyone to look forward, what long-term effects of child abuse and neglect so as not to play down the significance of each incident. An incident may not be significant for someone, but it can be traumatic for the children of his or her sense of self is still weak, and many depend on the adults around them. Due to the large environmental influences on the formation of their character and personality, then we need to know early on what the impact of abusive behavior so that we can think before acting, not cheap to say the word blunder.
Impact of Child Abuse
According to various agencies handling of children who receive negative treatment of parents, there are several factors that affect the size of the impact or effects of abuse or neglect against the child's life. Those factors are:
- Type of treatment experienced by the child
- How severe was the treatment experienced
- How long the treatment lasts
- Age of the child and the child's psychological resilience in the face of pressure
- Did the normal circumstances of the child continue to be a reasonable treatment or care
Are there other people or other family members who can love, love, attention and can be relied upon by the child
While it is torture or neglect experienced by children can cause problems in various aspects of life such as:
- Relational Problem
- Emotional Problems
- Cognition Problems
- Behavior Problems
Relational Problem
- The difficulty of establishing and developing relationships or friendships
- Feeling lonely
- Difficulty in establishing a harmonious relationship
- It's hard to trust yourself and others
- Unhealthy relationships, such as too dependent or too independent
- Difficult to divide attention between taking care of yourself by taking care of others
- Easy to suspect, too cautious to others
- Behavior is not spontaneous
- Difficulty adjusting to
- Would rather be alone than to play with his friends
- Hostile to other people liked or despised
- Prefer to be alone
- Fear physical relationship with another person
- Difficult to make a commitment
- Too irresponsible or even avoid responsibility
Emotional Problems
- Feeling guilty, ashamed
- Harbor feelings of revenge
- Depression
- Fear of mental disorders experienced by infected parents
- Was afraid he caught the problem to another friend
- Not able to express anger in a constructive or positive
- Are confused by its identity
- Not able to face life with all its problems
Cognition Problems
- Have a negative perception towards life
- Arising out of negative thoughts about themselves, followed by actions that tend to harm themselves
- Give low ratings to ability or achievement self-
- Difficulty concentrating and decreased school performance
- Have a negative self-image
Behavior Problems
- Behavior appears to lie, steal, skip school
- Criminal or delinquency
- Do not take care of themselves properly
- Attitude and behavior unnatural, contrived to get attention
- Complained about difficulty sleeping
- Appear unusual sexual behavior
- Addicted to drugs, alcohol, etc.
Appear abnormal eating behavior, such as anorexia or bulimia
Not all children will show signs of the above because they feel embarrassed, or afraid to admit it. They could have been threatened by the perpetrator not to talk about events experienced in others. If not, then they will get a much more severe punishment. Not ruled out, these kids just loved the culprit. They want to stop the action but do not want the perpetrator arrested or convicted, or perform any act endangering the integrity of the family.
Prevention
Precautions until recently was the best thing to do. Logically, the more populated, the more complex the crisis while the unemployment rate, poverty and ignorance are still high, then the potential for violence against children the greater. Here are some suggestions that can be done:
1. Hotline service
If there are indications or patterns of abuse or neglect, then there is a special institution to help address the problem. Both the victim and family members can contact the hotline number to have his case promptly addressed. One of the institutions for child protection is the National Commission for Child Protection can be seen from their website at www.komnaspa.or.id
2. Education programs for parents
Many parents who do not know that the existence of himself and his actions could be a source of major problems for children later in life, the wrong mindset and an unhealthy upbringing affects the mindset and character of children. Equip parents with knowledge of child psychology and education, to prevent acts of irrational and emotional. In addition, the more helpful if parents are given information about regulations and legislation on children.
3. Protection Homes
The existence of safe houses is necessary to accommodate and ensure the safety of the victim or the victim survival in a transition period until they can find the next step.
4. Parent support group
The existence and cooperation between parents can be a strong safety nets for children. Intensive and extensive communication from one person to another in an organized community can help prevent violence against children. Each party can be a mutual advisor, counselor, protector, helper, motivator that can prevent and help their children who have difficulty relating to violence or neglect experienced.
5. Community mental health center
The role of community mental health centers are not limited to receiving the issue, but more proactive in educating people, building community awareness (not just the campaign) but concretely and consistently implement interactive programs that can involve all elements of society, where people participate actively and was partly responsible for creating a mentally healthy environment, good family environment and the community. It would be nice if the community mental health program was organized in a comprehensive and proactive, to activities to schools, youth clubs, so the program is not an exclusive program diawang-dreamily elusive shape and purpose, but more pervasive in everyday life .
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