Depression

Depression usually occurs when the stress experienced by a person does not go away, and depression correlated with a dramatic event that just happened or happened to someone, such as the death of a loved one or losing a job can be very proud. Depression is a problem that can be experienced by anyone in the world. According to a study in the United States, 1 in 20 people in the United States each year are depressed, and at least 1 in 5 people suffer from depression throughout their life history. In Indonesia, many cases of depression occurred as a result of the crisis that hit in recent years. The issue of layoffs, the difficulty of finding employment, difficulties in maintaining employment and financial crisis is a problem right now is very common to be driving the emergence of depression among professionals.

According to a leading scientist is Phillip L. Rice (1992), depression is a mood disorder, prolonged emotional state that characterizes the whole mental processes (thinking, feeling and behaving) a person. In general, the dominant mood that emerges is the feeling of helplessness and loss of hope.

Cause

Maybe in between you have ever experienced depression without knowing the cause musababnya to make you more depressed because they do not see the answer. Finally you so grumpy itself, all so completely wrong because you think no one will understand your problem, how can expect help from others if it is the situation?

The real cause of depression can be seen from the biological factors (such as illness, hormonal effects, postpartum depression, a drastic weight reduction) and psychosocial factors (eg individual or interpersonal conflict, the problem of existence, personality problems, family problems). There is an opinion stating that the problem of heredity has an influence on depressive tendencies.

Symptom
Affected individuals show symptoms of depression in general, psychological, social and physical symptoms are typical, such as melancholy, prolonged sad, sensitive, prone to anger and irritability, loss of morale, loss of confidence, loss of concentration and decreased endurance. Before we explore further to recognize the symptoms of depression, it helps if we know what the symptoms mean. Symptoms are a set of events, behaviors or feelings that are often (but not always) appear at the same time. Symptoms of depression is a collection of behaviors and feelings that can specifically classified as depressed. But keep in mind, each person has a fundamental difference, which allows an event or behavior to be treated differently and bring different reactions from one person to another. Symptoms of depression can be seen from three aspects, namely in terms of physical symptoms, psychological and social. In more details, see the description below.

Physical Symptoms
According to some experts, the visible symptoms of depression has a wide range and variation according to the severity of depression. But in general there are some common physical symptoms are relatively easy to detect. Symptoms such as:

Disturbances in sleep patterns (inability to sleep, too much or too little)
The reduced level of activity. In general, people with depression show a passive behavior, like activities that do not involve anyone else like watching TV, eating, sleeping.
The reduced work efficiency. The cause is obvious, people affected by depression will be difficult to focus the attention or thoughts on something, or employment. So, they will also be difficult to focus your energy on those things a priority. Most who do precisely the things that are inefficient and not useful, such as snacking, daydreaming, smoking constantly, often called unnecessary. Clearly, people affected by depression will be seen from its working methods are becoming less structured, systematic work gets messed up or it works so slow.
Decreasing productivity. People affected by depression will lose some or all of his motivation. Why, he no longer could enjoy and feel satisfaction for what he did. He has lost interest and motivation to perform their activities as before. Therefore, the necessity to keep on the move makes it even more loss of energy due to the energy that is already widely used to defend themselves in order to continue to function as usual. They are easily tired, tired but not an activity that means!
Easy to feel tired and sick. Obviously, depression itself is a negative feeling. If someone is clearly negative feelings will make the weary burden of thoughts and feelings! ; And he must carry it anywhere and at any time, like it or not!
Psychic Symptoms

Take a good look at the bottom of this psychic phenomenon, whether you or your colleagues there who have signs like this:

Loss of confidence. Cause, people who are depressed tend to see things from the negative side, including the judge himself. Surely they are happy to compare himself with others. Others considered more successful, smart, lucky, wealthy, more educated, more experienced, more attention from employers, and other negative thoughts.
Sensitive. People who are depressed are happy to relate everything to do with him. Very sensitive feelings, so often seen to be neutral events from different viewpoints by them, even misinterpreted. As a result, they are easily offended, irritable, sensitive, suspicious of the intentions of others (which really is not anything), easily upset, depressed, and would rather be alone.
Feel useless. Feeling worthless because they feel it appear to be a failure, especially in the field or environment they are supposed to control. For example, a manager is depressed because he was reassigned to another part. In his perception, it is mutating due to the inability to assess his work and leadership are not enough to contribute as expected.
Feelings of guilt. Feelings of guilt often arise in the minds of people who are depressed. They looked at an event that happened to him as a punishment or a result of their failure to carry out responsibilities that should be done. Many of them feel themselves a burden to others and blame themselves for the situation.
Feel overwhelmed. Many people who blame others for their distress they experienced. They feel heavy burden because it felt too burdened with heavy responsibility.
Symptoms of Social

Do not be surprised if the problem of depression that began with self in turn affects the environment and employment (or other regular activities). How not, of course the environment will react to the behavior of depressed people are generally negative (easily upset, irritable, withdrawn, sensitive, easily tired, easily hurt). Social problems that occur usually revolve around the issues of interaction with colleagues, superiors or subordinates. This problem is not just a form of conflict, but other issues as well as feelings of inferiority, shame, worry if you are in between the group and feel comfortable to communicate normally. They feel unable to be open and active relationship with the environment even if there is a chance.

encounter Traumatic

Given that there is a proper part of the disaster we call the secret of God, then maybe it's time we need to remember the sage advice that does something like is this: if there is a tragedy, trial, or any event which we have left grief, misery, and misery that does not make us die, then there still exists a part that we can choose to strengthen ourselves.

Referring to the above advice, then what is our common task is to find any material that could show us to be a brighter, become stronger, or minimize a person who is made worse by the state is obviously aggravate us.

Problems in Inner

Whether we are sure no one dared to say the earthquake and tsunami that hit the storm of our brothers is lightweight and can be immediately accepted as a fact that actually happened. Let alone against calamity that semaha-menacing (extraordinary). Nature of the calamity that ordinary (ordinary) and routine, such as failure, disappointment and uncertainty, we generally can not receive it directly. Often there are events that the expert is called emotional outbursts in the form of first refusal of the things we do not want to happen.

However, because of something that has happened it is a fact, then accepted or rejected in the end still have occurred. Therefore, it is the difference between the per person is the speed of the pull-out of keterhanyutan and darkness. Anything that makes us too long often washed away into the darkness of calamity? That often occurs between us is:

A. Extend the rejection

With what we prolong the rejection? Usually, we extended the rejection by creating an emotional outburst in the second in the same shape as the first outbursts or rejection of the second, third, the thousandth, and so on. To get around that we should not take too long to add resistance to rejection of the expert psychologist, Denis Waitley, for example, it suggests three things: a) stop the desire within us to change something that can not be changed anymore; b) start to change what can still be changed and c) the anticipation of things that maybe we will reject again.

Another suggestion that we should also emphasize again within us is the opinion which invites us to let something that is outside our control and we are shifting the focus of the effort to seize the responsibility to do something that is still in the area of ​​our control so we are minimum is not even made worse by the things that aggravate us. Gratitude - gratitude we become stronger or brighter again

2. Wisdom demands

Religious understanding is common to us is that all the misfortune to have a purpose. This is in accordance with scriptural explanation that suggests that all acts of God (the act of God) or all of which God allowed to happen must contain a specific purpose. Every misery that befell there must be a benefit in kind (equivalent benefit).

If the wisdom and usefulness of its certainty, then what are the bottlenecks? The problem is that often it is the same wisdom as the final response from our efforts. Though certainly, but he is often given in the form of art (art) aka not like summing Mathematics theory. Some are given by way of fine, given in part, given at the end, is given directly, given through the hands of other people we love, given from the hands of others who have not we met before, or given of the way we usually do not like teorikan. Often the things that make us faster experience mental fatigue is waiting just to wait for the tone dictate or demand (acceleration demand or according to our will). That is why we are commanded to-use utility to create a positive or endeavor to explore the benefits are worth it or if you need more and as much as possible.

3. Destructive protests

The emergence of a tone burst of protest, secretly or openly the wisdom of God, although often considered to violate the laws of Theology, but the practice can be experienced by anyone. However, in practice there are subtle distinction that can create large differences in results between our protests that exacerbate a vent for ourselves and vent our protest at the rise of encouragement, advancement and power. The first protests that at times even slow recovery and inhibitor of enlightenment.

Anthony Robbins admitted that the secret of success in achieving high performance from the very bottom of the stairs is the protest-suicide by using adversity as a driving force for creating positive change. Felice Leonardo Buscaglia once wrote that the change is the result of learning. Changes can be made of three things: a) use the discontent over what happened to us today, b) a decision to change to meet resistance, and c) awareness of devoting themselves to the change process. Prophetic doctrine teaches us to get up immediately by way of protesting the self (self-Rebellion) or send us to rise up after the collapse by beating case / adverse event (protest building)

Receive struggle

Explained that the doctrine of faith to receive mental attitude is the main pillar. Scientific studies have explained that to receive a road to be able to learn and change. It would be difficult for us to study the usefulness and change what can still be changed without the aid of acceptance. Alexander Graham Bell had warned us not too long staring at the closed door that we could see another door was opened. As a self-learning, below is one of those moments that we can do to speed up the withdrawal and improve models of acceptance that we do:

A. Sharpen the Infinite Intelligence

Napoleon Hill says that faith is an Infinite Intelligence (The infinitive Intelligence). Keimananlah are able to penetrate the understanding, meaning and purpose behind the facts or the reality of the visible (magical objects). Keimananlah that make us feel no guarantee of security and peace of God with a sense of togetherness. Keimananlah which enables us to say that we are destined to live as long as there would be no problem that can make us die.

However, this belief would have been a variety of ratings, so we need to raise: No faith in the mouth (speech only), there is a belief in a half-half (depending on external circumstances), and there is real faith. According Cak Nur, how can we take to have real faith is perfected at any time based on the knowledge, experience and the fact that we understand.

2. Improving System Solutions

The problem is not completed by the faith. Our problem will be completed by a series of actions. But with faith will make us confident and bright during the process of solving problems. Confidence and clarity is what we need because they have a relationship with what we might call "self-proving"

As long as we still have not left the earth must have been there always exist a bid to prove who we are, above all bids in the form of the things we do not want from the start that its unusual to offer such an exceptional nature that befell our brethren.

Examples of evidence that such self it this way. When we hit a storm, we must have been a frenzy with all kinds of thoughts. After the storm passed then all that remains is to choose between the bids we chose to drift and chose to rise. Whatever we choose certainly has its own justification. However, the evidence that akhinya who we are: 1) evidence that we are devastated by the storm (loser), or 2) proof that we beat the storm (winner).

Because we want is to become the second group, then all we need is to improve the system of settlement of the problems we face in accordance with our progress so that we can have other forms of self-evidence that the longer the better by doing something that needs improvement, change positive, and renewal. "Trauma to be immortal in us is the suffering that we do not follow the change ourselves into a positive direction."

3. Raising Expectations

All religions are taught to hope, only to God. The way that we can do for hope here is to have expectations as high as the position of God (optimism) so we do not dissolve easily contrived, drift, run and darkened by the reality on earth that can change at any time and not everything can be explained by reasoning or our knowledge .

In addition, it also serves as an optimistic expectation energizer (locomotion) we step in solving the problem, turn, builds and fix things up. With high expectations did not lead automatically to make us win, but if without hope, we've lost before you proceed. Hopefully we can run.

Self-esteem Tends To Decline After Seeing The Advertising Model

 
You know, we do not realize when I saw a poster advertising a particular product and will affect our self-esteem. It becomes very pronounced for women who look at a few other women in several models of media and advertising certain products.

According to research from the Journal of Consumer Research quoted by Science Daily (20/10/09), self-esteem of women who are overweight will decline when they see pictures of other female models. On the contrary, self-esteem have increased lean women, regardless of the size of the model being viewed.

The study, by Dirk Smeesters (Erasmus University, The Netherlands), Thomas Mussweiler (University of Cologne, Germany), and Naomi Mandel (Arizona State University).

This study found no change in self-esteem when a woman sees another woman models in magazines, newspapers, television and others. It shows how the media affects self-esteem of women who are overweight and underweight.

Self-esteem will tend to increase lean women, regardless of body shape models they see. On the other hand, self-esteem of women who are overweight tend to decline, regardless of body shape models they see. More surprisingly, women with overweight and underweight have a comparable level of self-esteem when they are looking at other women models in magazines or other media.

Advertising also affects the behavior of women when eating and exercise. For example, women who are overweight will tend to eat less and have higher intentions to diet and exercise when looking at magazine models and a more slender ideal.

Looking at this phenomenon, it is better to overweight women to avoid seeing the ad with a slim and ideal models as well as women's magazines in general.

Recognize the Signs Children Experiencing Stress

Stress is not only experienced by adults, ages of children are also vulnerable to stress. Stress in children up to school age children and adolescents known to many reasons. Parents need to be sensitive and recognize symptoms of stress that may be experienced by their children. Knowing the symptoms of stress in children from an early age can help parents find the right solution for them.
Each child's age group has its own way in a show of frustration or stress they experienced. Parental sensitivity it is necessary to know the child has signs of stress. "The younger the child, he does not have the capacity to tell reveal what she feels. In fact, for toddlers, for example, he has not understood what is called stress. Who were most responsible for helping children to recognize signs of stress and deal with is parents, "he explained.

Ruth added that there are a number of symptoms that can be used as a benchmark for the elderly in detecting stress disorder in children. These signs include physical characteristics, emotional and psycho-social. For example, the child looks more fussy, irritable, lose interest, grumpy, irritable, restless attitude, confidence faded, even withdraw from the association. stress the child can be known also by decreasing the value of academic, delirium, decreased appetite, nightmares and menggertakan teeth.
"Stress in children do not come by themselves, parents also have a contribution that makes a child become stressed,"

Parenting style to be very important for parents to determine attitudes in children. Do not let the parents in implementing parenting, for example, tend to be authoritarian, neglect, and the stimulation was wrong.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Traumatic events can occur in one's life can be predicted without prior and without any preparation. Everyone has a different reaction when faced with traumatic events like this. In some people, this makes it a traumatic event the trauma, he was not able to run their daily life as usual (before the event occurs), the shadow will always return the event in his memory and him alone, he also felt unable to cope. Those who experience such things may have what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can affect WHO Those personally experience the catastrophe, WHO Those witness it, and Those WHO pick up the pieces afterwards, Including emergency workers and law enforcement officers. It can even occur in the friends or family members of WHO Those went through the actual trauma (Smith & Segal., 2008).

Post-traumatic stress disorder can affect those who personally experienced a disaster or major catastrophe, those who witnessed the incident, and those who assist in the incident, including social workers and security guards. This can occur even among friends or relatives of people who have experienced trauma (Smith & Segal., 2008).

Some sources define Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as follows:

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder can develop after exposure That to a Terrifying event or ordeal in the which grave physical harm was Occurred or Threatened (American Psychological Association, 2004).

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder that can be formed from an event or experience that scary / horrible, difficult and unpleasant where there is physical abuse or feel threatened (American Psychological Association, 2004).

 Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a disorder That can develop Following a traumatic event threatens your safety or That makes you feel helpless (Smith & Segal, 2008).

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a disorder that can be formed from the traumatic event that threatens your safety or makes you feel powerless (Smith & Segal, 2008).

Events that can be categorized as traumatic events generally contain three elements as follows (Jaffe, Segal, & Dumke, 2005):
1. These events can not be predicted (It was unexpected)
2. People who experience such events are not ready to face the conditions / events so (The person was unprepared)
3. Nothing can be done by the person to prevent the occurrence of the event (There was nothing the person Could do to Prevent it from happening)

... Overwhelming any life experience can trigger PTSD, ESPECIALLY if the event is perceived as unpredictable and uncontrollable (Smith & Segal., 2008).

... any life experiences that are too "shake" can trigger PTSD, especially if the event is seen as something that can not be predicted and controlled / controlled (Smith & Segal., 2008).


Smith & Segal states that traumatic events can lead to the emergence of PTSD include:

• War 
• Rape
• Natural disasters
• A car or plane crash
• Kidnapping
• Violent assault
• Sexual or physical abuse
• Medical procedures - especially in children 

Over the years the study, 17 symptoms / symptoms of PTSD have been identified. Symptoms-symptoms that are written in the 4th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). The 17 symptoms were divided into three major groups. Three groups, and symptom-specific symptoms that are on it are described below:

1. Feel again the traumatic event (Re-Experiencing Symptoms)

• Frequently having upsetting thoughts or memories about a traumatic event.
• Having recurrent nightmares.
• Acting or feeling as though the traumatic event were happening again, Sometimes called a "flashback".
• Having very strong feelings of distress when reminded of the traumatic event.
• Being physically responsive, Such as experiencing a surge in your heart rate or sweating, to reminders of the traumatic event.

2. Avoidance (Avoidance Symptoms)

• Making an effort to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations about the traumatic event.
• Making an effort to avoid places or People that remind you of the traumatic event.
• Having a difficult, time remembering Important parts of the traumatic event.
• A loss of interest in Important, once positive, activities.
• Feeling distant from others.
• Experiencing Difficulties having positive feelings, Such as happiness or love.
• Feeling as though your life may be cut short - you donâ € ™ t expect to live a normal life span , get married, have a career.

3. â € œWaspadaâ €? (Hyperarousal Symptoms)

• Having a difficult, time falling or staying asleep.
• Feeling irritable or having more outbursts of anger.
• Having difficulty concentrating.
• Always feel like being watched or feeling as if the danger targeted at every corner "Feeling constantly" on guard "or like danger is lurking around every corner".
• Be a restless, uneasy, or easily "triggered" / so "alert" (Being "jumpy" or easily startled).

Do you need all these symptoms for the diagnosis of PTSD?

To be diagnosed with PTSD, a person does not need to have all the symptoms above. In fact, very rarely someone with PTSD had all the symptoms listed above. To be diagnosed with PTSD, one need only some of the symptoms of each group. And of course, additional requirements for the diagnosis of PTSD also needs to be tested, such as how a person responds to a traumatic event, how long the symptoms experienced, and to what extent the symptoms are affecting their lives.

Stress Disorder after Traumatic

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental disorder in someone who comes after experiencing a traumatic experience in life or an event that threatens the safety of his soul. For example the event of war, rape or sexual assault, an attack that wounded body, torture, child abuse, natural disasters such as earthquakes, landslides, flash floods, traffic accident or plane crash disaster. People who experience life as a witness is likely to experience stress disorder. (Bufka & Barlow, 2006:1)

Seeking social support

• Make contact with others can reduce feelings of sadness (distress)
• Children and adolescents can be calm and positive when things can get together with their peers
• Contact relationships can be done by a family member, friend or a fellow victim

Social Support Options

• Husband / Wife
• Boyfriend
• Pastor, priest, nun, Ustad, Ustadzah, Alim Ulama
• Volunteer groups
• Trusted family member
• Your doctor or nurse
• Colleague
• Close friend
• Crisis counselors
• Pets

This thing must be done

• Talking with caution
• Start talks on the practical
• Ask first whether this is the right time for him to speak
• Been prepared for things to be discussed
• Tell your presence mean if you would like to invite to speak or just to accompany her
• Tell you how grateful for the willingness to listen
• Choose a time and place
• Talk about the pain and bitterness that happened when you're ready
• Ask what you want or how to help â € "the main thing that can help at this time

This thing is not done

• Did not say anything because it considers only going to upset
• Silent because they think they will not listen
• Silent because of fear of offending
• Just wait for contributing stress or fear can not help

Ways to get in touch

• Contact family or friends by phone
• Get involved with volunteer groups
• Increase contact with close friends
• Involved in relief activities
• Wake up / reactivate the activities of teaching, preaching in the mosque / church activities / pure / pagoda

Provide Social Support

You can help family members and friends who experienced the disaster by sharing time with them and listened attentively. Many people can recover well when they feel accepted and understood by others. Some choose to not much more to tell his experience, and some might otherwise mendiskusikanya up repeatedly. Discuss events that happened in the disaster can be a little help, along with it, just to share time with him can make him feel close and accepted, though without saying a word to feel better.

The reason why people would reject the Social Support

• Do not know what they want
• Do not want to bother other people
• Want to avoid having to think or feel the traumatic event
• Feeling embarrassed or weak
• Doubted that it could help him, or anyone else can not understand
• Others will feel disappointed or judgmental
• Felt it would lose control
• Were desperate for help and was previously no help
• Do not know what to ask for help to anyone?

Positive things that happen when you get social support

• Show interest, concern and caring
• There was a respect for the individual reactions and begin to live better
• Better able to comment on the disaster that has occurred
• Able to communicate well at all times
• With time berjalanya stress can gradually recovered
• Believed everyone could recover as usual
• Free from the judgments of others
• Can talk about positive things to do in the recovery
• Can talk to or share time together as long as needed

Things that can interfere with Social Support

• Forcing people to feel comfortable and say that all that has passed
• Shows that other people weaker than yourself is tough because it can lead to better
• Just talking about his own experience without going to hear the stories of others
• Give advice that is not appropriate because you do not ask or mendengarkanya first
• Stop talking when people are expressing things that are bothering her
• Tell them, that they are among the lucky survivors

If the Social Support provided is not sufficient ..

• Let them know what the experts say that the avoidance and withdrawal would lead to an increase in grief / fear (distress) and realize that the social support provided to help them to recover
• Convince them to want to communicate with a counselor, cleric / priest, or doctor / nurse who offered to help them
• Convince them to engage in a group that supports each other are equally affected
• In the end the support of others in a social environment will be a part of yourself that is very supportive of each other.

Anorexia Nervosa

Would you like to keep the body trim diet? Suddenly become allergic to the name chocolate, ice cream and high-calorie foods. Then become afraid to eat for fear of weight going up just enough so that a full day with a few spoonfuls of rice. Be careful you know, because if the diet is not even fair anymore would be dangerous. Ally Mc Beal know the movie, right? It was said that the protagonist of this film on a diet alias Callista Flockshart hard until eventually suffer from anorexia. Lady Di's pretty and slim it also was having problems eating. He often regurgitate food after eating a variety of dishes. Feeding problems experienced by Lady Di is called bulimia.

That's just a sample of the hundreds (possibly thousands) of cases of eating problems experienced by some people. Actually, without us knowing it was a friend, or sehabat lest we ourselves were experiencing a similar case. What is anorexia or bulimia, and why a person may experience these things.


Anorexia Nervosa
Eating disorders are commonly found in adolescent girls with anorexia or fancy term is known as anorexia nervosa. Anorexia is an activity to attenuate loss by restricting food deliberately and through strict control. Anorexics are aware that they are hungry but afraid to meet their food needs because it can result in weight gain. Their perception of satiety when they are disturbed that consume large amounts of food in small portions as well, they will soon feel 'full' or even nausea. They are constantly on a diet so desperately to achieve a thin body. In the end, this condition can cause harmful effects, namely the death of the patient. Just imagine, if they continue to refrain from eating, from which they obtain energy for life.

Bulimia
If anorexics desperately to resist hunger and trying as hard as possible to not consume large amounts of food so that it can hold a 'live' simply by eating 2-3 tablespoons of rice per day, is not the case with bulimia. In essence, the ultimate goal of people with bulimia and anorexia are the same, namely to maintain a lean body shape (skinny) might be the way they are different. People with bulimia tend to like to eat foods they like. They eat too much for satisfactory desire but then they vomit them back up there was no food left. Thus they avoid getting fat but still be thin without the need to restrain their desire to eat. Can imagine if someone continually regurgitate the food they eat, where they get the calories for the move. Tubuhpun becomes weak, it is difficult to think and ultimately no more energy can be used to defend himself.


Why Can Happen?
When entering adolescence, especially during puberty, adolescents become very concerned over their weight gain. Physiological changes in the body that is sometimes annoying. Usually, it is more often experienced by young women than young men. For young women, they experienced the increase in fat tissue so they will be easy for obese when consuming a high-calorie foods. If it had not eaten anything for weight loss effect, but after puberty (usually marked with a period), only two pieces of chocolate to eat, kok 1 kg weight was added. In fact most women want to look slim and thin because they think that being thin will make them happy, successful and popular. Especially if you see the 'body' of celebrities are slim (actually more accurate to say skinny-skinny-no shows) so if you wear any model looks fit and appropriate. Meanwhile, if your body fat, wear whatever clothes seemed like he was wearing a sack of flour. Finally, the environment also affects. The more frequent teasing 'fat' diet, the more intense it is. It is not surprising when one's dissatisfaction with his body will develop problems with eating disorders.
Adolescents with eating disorders such as above having a problem with body image. That is, they already have a mind set (an idea which has ter'patri 'in the brain) that their bodies are not ideal. They perceive her body fat, a lot of fat here and there, not sexy and others are essentially not pleasant to look at and not as interesting as other people's bodies. As a result of this thinking has been etched, a teenager will always impressed to see their body fat when in fact they are the more weight it down until eventually they became very thin. They will be haunted by feelings of guilt whenever they eat a lot because it would lead to weight increase.

The issue of "body" eventually lead adolescents to be less confident and hard to accept her condition. They assume that the confidence will grow if they also have the perfect body (perfect here is thin).


Whether its aftermath?
Some people with anorexia and bulimia to lose weight can be between 25-50% of their weight. If these disorders, both anorexia and bulimia are not handled promptly, it can eventually have problems both physically and psychologically serious, even severe cases can lead to death.

Physical effects that commonly occur in them:

• Loss of appetite, so do not want to consume any food
• Injury to the throat and digestive tract infections caused by too often regurgitate food
• Weak, without strength
• Difficulty concentrating
• Menstrual disorders
• Death

Physical impacts will also indirectly affect a person's mental condition, so that the psychological problems that arise in them are:

• Feelings of worthlessness
• Sensitive, irritable, easily angered
• Easy to feel guilty
• Loss of interest to interact with others
• Insecure, awkward to deal with the crowds
• Tend to lie to cover up her eating behavior
• Ask the other person's attention
• Depression (sad continuously)

Physical and psychological impact experienced by people with eating disorders is of course not be ignored. They need immediate help from psychologists, doctors, nutritionists, and of course the parents to recover the problem so as not to bring a more serious impact, which is death.

How to Get the Ideal Body?
We need to reassess what it means to the ideal body. Does having a thin body, slim or sexy in the image of the community? I do not think there is more ideal than having a HEALTHY body. Why thin, slim and sexy when in fact we torture ourselves and ended up sick. However, be good also if finally we indulge ourselves with a variety of foods until finally we are excess weight and even at a higher risk for disease. Therefore, it is better to set a balanced diet in order to achieve the ideal body (ie: healthy).


If teenagers want to have a healthy body (thin but still fit or fat, but still lively and fresh), then there are some things you can do:

• Consultation with a doctor or a nutritionist to get a balanced diet
• Regular exercise
• Get enough sleep
• Not taking medications that do not need (such as: drug / herbal slimming, sleeping pills, drugs, etc.)
• Reduce time to spare (idle) and increase activity of the brain that require hard work and physical (eg, training martial arts, dance, photography, drama, etc.)

Do we often "bad mood?"

Uniqueness Mood
It is common sense, we use the term mood. Generally, the term mood that we understand as the moods of certain, could be bad and good. If you look to expert opinion, as quoted by Wikipedia, for example, mood is the emotional state (state of emotion) that took place in relative terms, that its causes are often subjective or unclear. If a person feels afraid, that there is, whether factual or perceptual (perceived causes a person). The same if someone was happy. The excitement arose because of certain reasons. But for the mood, is often not clear or the stimulus is often less factual. For example, we knew it was bad mood when you leave the office.

A similar explanation as well as we can get from the book Philip G. Zimbardo (Psychology and Life: 1979) on the mood. Mood is a certain emotional state that is not included in the category of state (emotions triggered by certain external factors) or trait (a congenital form of one's emotions). Changes in mood can last hours or days in size. For some, the mood changes often affect the desire to do something or can even influence the decisions and actions. As far as the effect was not related to matters that are important and crucial, perhaps we can still say normal. His name is also the living. Nature just got the season and weather.

But, if it has spread to a very important matter, then it's hard to say it was normal. For example we were to pursue a particular expertise. If our passion is more often controlled by changes in mood, it may be very slow progress we can achieve, which should more quickly we can achieve, if ever we do not mut-mutants (moody). The more so if the mood changes that often we experience it comes to affairs with other people or organizations. For example, we are suddenly canceled an appointment with a partner because of the mood. We change the course of an agreed-upon people because of the mood, or we take important decisions concerning the family as a matter of mood. Simply say, we've become a mut-mutants so hard to pin down.

Mood Disorder
In the study of psychology, there is a familiar term called mood disorder or mood changes that are no longer healthy or chaotic. Dr. C. George Boeree, of Shippensburg University (Mood Disorder: 2003), explains that it is the Mood Disorder that is unhealthy extreme (pathological) of a particular mood changes, such as too excited or too poor (sadness and elation).
The above definition flavor-it is enough for us to use as a reference to self-improvement. Another matter of if we want to use it for presentations of academic tasks that require so many theories, perspectives, and analysis of data or facts. For the sake of self-improvement, the influence of mood changes that need to be detected include:

• Whether the mood changes that have really extreme to be able to say very dangerous, such as reckless driving on the highway or the slamming of useful stuff for us to be fatal?
• Whether the change in mood was already really can cripple our function with the responsibility That we have to run until we do not Become WHO people care to Office duties, responsibilities, profession or duties as a parent?
• Whether the mood changes that have led to signs of damage to our relationships with other people because of such a lot that we do not promise to keep, a lot of missed call or SMS is not our responsibility, etc.?

So that we can explore the answer to the question above is still not necessarily be called the Mood Disorder in scientific theory. It's just using common sense, surely we can conclude that the mood changes that have caused harm and damage, no longer a matter of course the usual or normal.

Lifestyle depressive
What we first need to examine when we experience mood changes that have an impact on the bad things like the above? One of the most important thing is the lifestyle, customs, or traditions, in the sense of repetitive behaviors that we do is almost entirely unconscious. The question is, what kind of lifestyle? Lifestyles that could explain the emergence of mood in excessive (pathological) is a depressive lifestyle. As we read here often, depression is stress that continues or fails to be handled positively. In practice, there is the nature of depression and some of its respondents had a longstanding tradition.

Respondents generally depressed nature of external events triggered by what we feel stressful, such as a tragedy of self that makes us have to pull out of the office or the company that we've raised, divorce is a painful event begins, or death which does not normally happen to someone dear, and various other events over which we have received directly. If the reference of the practice of life, depression that respondents are generally known to the causes or chronology. This is somewhat different from the depression that it's a lifestyle. There may be a trigger, but the trigger was not aware that berlahan slowly build up and make us feel surrounded by a variety of loads, pressures, and threats.

To menelaan whether the practice of our daily lives are filled with a variety of loads, pressures, and threats were depressed, probably under the common symptoms of this can we make a reference:

• Decreasing the energy to do things, bad mood.
• It's hard to think or concentrate so as to make us forget or are unaware of responsibilities, ranging from the trivial, say, like forgetting to pay the food we take, and semisalnya
• Wanted to continue sleeping or difficulty sleeping, wanted to continue to eat or difficulty eating
• No longer care for the affairs of appearance, such a mess
• It's hard to take a quick decision or change the decision (not held)
• Experience psychomotor slowness, such as piece-sepengal preman, slow responding to something, or the lazy way
• Thinking about death is not healthy
•  

Freeing Yourself From Depression
In literature, there are many statements of experts who warned that we should not quickly conclude that the change of mood which had created the disturbance was purely because of depression. To find out the causes of specific, required depth by experts. And it generally takes time. However, almost all agree that depression can make a person more often controlled by the inner atmosphere in making decisions that arguably deserve mut-mutants. Because our mind is depressed, then the decision we are reflecting depressive symptoms as above. For example, not concentrative, not eager to be responsible, and so on.

So, what can we do for depression is not to produce habits of moody? Would say arrogant if we think can anticipate depressive events a hundred percent. Many painful events which could not be anticipated by humans or by the state once did, such a disaster. There are human-made disasters, but because there are already Maktub (written).
Therefore, in addition it is necessary to anticipate, we also need to mechanization (create a mechanism for self-defense) to deal with events that have not be anticipated. This mechanism can be grouped into two, namely:
1. External mechanisms
2. Internal mechanism

Let's say we now feel the office or home situation which is really depressed and its causes are complex, like the tangled threads. External mechanisms that we can do include: set (to manage), alter, repair, or moving to a new situation. But this is to syaratkan ability, stability, and tangggung said. If we were not able to run, then we can do is create an internal mechanism. The number and shape of the internal mechanism created by God to sustain life is unlimited, ranging from creating a new interpretation, new opinion, the new definitions, new meaning, a new reflection, a new attitude and so on.

Internal mechanism that is essentially our attempt to create the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that make us stronger and more enlightened. Internal mechanism is even bigger role than external mechanisms in conditioning a person becomes depressed or not. In practice, not necessarily the person in prison is more depressing than a free man. Not necessarily the person whose name and picture were targeted accusations and insults in the media or the demo was more depressed. Yes and can not, or may even be more mature, depending on the internal mechanism.

What we need to stay away with is, we have not been able to create an external mechanism (as a matter of a variety of cost), creating a free internal mechanisms were not we create. Or even establish the internal mechanism to the depression yourself up to make a quality decision to decline drastically our lives or merely mut-mutants. Indeed, it appears the internal mechanism of the many support, may be of value, knowledge, information, and the most important thing is practice (process and procession).
All it will only support we get after a strong foundation, namely:
1. The emergence of the drive to change for the better
2. Recognizing the need for change.

If these two things do not exist, maybe all the doors will be closed. Of research reports that some experts acknowledged that people never could control his mood was because people were not aware of the need to transform itself. It may even feel that is correct.

Think Life Is Only Once
Not all the changes of life we ​​value so fundamental it should start from the idea that sophisticated, intelligent, and complex. That's the beauty of divine justice. Adakalnya can be started from a simple idea, which is known only by professors, and probably wrong. An example is the thought "Life is only once". For us, this is wrong because life is two times, no sophisticated sentence there, and no theory behind it. But, if we manage to use it to anticipate the emergence of a depressive lifestyle, the result will be advanced. With thinking like that, we will soon know, for what we allow ourselves to dissolve and drift into a depressive lifestyle.

May be useful.

Against Torture and Child Neglect

Today the phenomenon of children being abused or neglected the elderly more often we hear the news, either because of increased frequency of cases or because the era of openness to any news brought to the surface, or indeed as both. In 2006, the UN issued a statistical data that says that nearly 53,000 children worldwide are killed by acts of violence / torture, more than 80 to 98% of children had experienced physical abuse as a form of punishment and a third of the amount of physical punishment by using the tool. In 2004, worldwide there are 218 million child workers under the age of which 126 million are doing a dangerous job. And in 2000 there were 1.8 million children are forced or forced into prostitution and pornography, of which 1.2 million of them are victims of child trafficking.
The country is so phenomenal, it may seem so far with our daily lives. In fact, acts of violence and neglect against children that could have happened in front of our eyes everyday, or even inside your own home. We begin to wonder if our actions have been classified as abusive or still reasonable. To that end, let us first examine the definition.

Definition
By James Vander Zanden in his book Human Development (1989) mentions the definition of abuse (violence / torture) as a physical attack (can cause injury) and was done deliberately by people who should be the care taker. David A Wolfe in his book, Child Abuse, said that the maltreatment of children can take the form of physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and neglect (neglect). Neglect can be interpreted as a lack of attention to social, emotional and physical proper, which has been properly received by the child. The psychiatrist who gathered in the Community Association for Preventing Violence in Children in the UK (1999) argues that the neglect of children is also an attitude of torture but rather passive. The effects of child abuse or neglect of causation are equally bad.

Against Child Neglect
Ignoring the child was classified as torture because of the neglect, the child did not get their rights, whether it's right to be loved, to live, grow, to get an education and schools, safety, health, protection, have a future, and so on. Allowing and or encouraging children to consume alcohol, drugs (illegal drugs), cigarettes and anything that is harmful to the health of children is considered negligence actions. We can not minimize the impact of neglect on comparing violence because both have the potential damage and harm to child survival.
One study of neglect also explains that let kids do antisocial action, letting kids skip school or do not want the school for no reason, leaving the child unattended man, woman, ignoring the child and not to talk to her, discriminating affection and concern among child- children themselves are categorized as neglect.
Infants separated from their parents and do not get a replacement (eg, new parents who also love and protect them, provide security and to build an emotional attachment), the possibility of adaptation could potentially run into problems later in life. According Wenar (1991), lack of adequate care after the formation of the bond of love between a child with a caregiver will lead to deviant behavior, because the impact of such loss is perceived as a rejection or abandonment. With the capacity is still limited understanding of an event will, the child will interpret the event as a rejection of him, he was not valuable enough so it does not deserve to be loved. This is no time to be fixed if it continues, it will cause problems, especially in the formation of one's identity and self-adjustment in their lives in the neighborhood

Children Against Torture
All parents must at times feel angry towards her. Address the child's behavior is not easy. Just by saying "no" it is not necessarily able to reduce the irritating attitude. In the face of attitudes and behavior which is difficult for many parents who are out of control, so to say or do anything that might harm the child so that they regret later. If this situation is often repeated, it is said to be child abuse, both physically and mentally.
The definition of torture applies to violence / torture to the level and intensity as well as a variety of actions and impacts. Action could be pinching, slapping, hitting, throwing, burning, ignited by cigarettes, aggressively attacking the child, punish excessively, slam and many other terrible acts, while emotional abuse can be done in the form of criticism, reproach, insult, etc.; or harassment sexual. Physical effects ranging from minor injuries, severe wounds to injuries resulting in death, while the psychological effects such as low self-esteem, trauma, and other forms that will be discussed in detail elsewhere in this article.

Causes
Why some parents to abuse or neglect their children have the heart? According to common sense and is supported by the opinion of some experts, parents who do that must have had some reason the background, or historical that could potentially trigger violence not only against the child, perhaps also the spouse. Let us try to examine what conditions can encourage this child abuse.

1. Unhealthy parenting
Parents who are highly authoritarian, not allowing children to express themselves, and often their parents impose its will on the child regardless of compatibility with the situation, needs and character of children. Imposing attitude patterns, rituals and rules without providing space for renewal and flexibility can lead to tensions between parents and children.

2. Immature character
Many of the perpetrators of these violent acts are the parents that infantile kanakkan. Although old age but the mindset, attitudes, actions are like children, such as impulsive, reactive, emotional, tantrums, etc.. A teenager (even those who are old enough too), could potentially have problems like this while raising her own if she still wanted to be center of attention.

3. Emotional problems
Prolonged problems that are not completed could cause stress to exceed the threshold of parental mental endurance that triggers both acts of violence or neglect. Moreover, if the threshold is low parental mental toughness, the emotion is easily broken up to their parents lose control of themselves.

4. Illicit drug use
Families that alcoholics tend to be more unstable and unpredictable behavior. Any rule can be changed at any time, and often easy to deny the promises ever made. Similarly, the upbringing of the child's parents. Parenting often fickle applied inconsistently, and there is no room for family members to express their feelings as it is because of the restrictions and prohibitions to discuss the "bad" family.

Often other members are required to keep a secret so no one knows. This situation of course makes the depression, frustration, anger, discomfort and anxiety in the hearts of his children. Often children think they have done something wrong that caused the parents have a bad habit. As a result, distrust, difficulty expressing emotions appropriately, and the difficulty of close social relationships and true, an issue that carried over into adulthood. According to research some of the experts, the children of these families are more at risk to develop the habit alkoholismenya in adulthood than children from families who are not alcoholics.

According to research Chaffin, Kelleher and Hollenberg (1996), drug addicts are reported to be the most common factors considered to be the cause of abuse and neglect of children and do not care which way is right or wrong. Especially when it's on the level of dependence, it is easy to lose all common sense. If you've lost your mind, anything can happen, either beat their wives and children, families spend a share of operating money, the words harsh and painful, destroying objects that are valuable means for children (toys, radios, etc.). Worse yet, after making the move people often hide behind the word mistake, but sane and sober when deciding to drink and drugs jamming.

5. Parental psychiatric problems
Psychiatric problems that plague one of the parents is certainly impact the growth and mental development of children. Not only that, parental psychiatric problems would affect patterns of interaction and communication that exists in the family. In a review of systems theory, if one family member suffered psychiatric problems, will automatically affect the other family members and causes changes in various aspects of family life.

Rose Cooper, a researcher named Thomas who conducted research on the relationship between mother and child, found that mothers who experience a mental disorder Schizophrenia (with a tendency indifferent behavior), it tends to produce a child whose behavior is rebellious, wicked, distorted, or even anti-social . But instead some are withdrawing their children to be like, passive, dependent and less tractable. Other researchers also found that mental disorders result in a disruption of the mother of the child's identity development.

The same discovery also revealed that the Obsessive Compulsive disorder experienced by the elderly is closely related to their attitudes toward child neglect. Therefore, Obsessive Compulsive disorder makes it a lot more people thinking about and doing rituals on the responsibility of raising children. Another study conducted by Chaffin, Kelleher and Hollenberg (1996) on children whose parents have depression or psychopathology. According to them, parents who are depressed often found physical abuse against their children. Their children also reported experiencing problems such as depression, interpersonal problems, bizarre behavior and having problems at school or in the study.
Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP) is a mental disorder that is usually experienced by women, in this case a mother to her child (usually in infants or children under age 6 years) and usually result in the child must get serious treatment in the hospital. The disease was first described by Meadow in 1977 was detected pathological elements that lie in the everyday life of the mother since the first until now.

In severe cases, the children are constantly exposed to situations that threaten the safety of his soul, and the mother are doing from the outside it looked gentle and sincere. Dangerous mental disorder that can result in the death of his son because in many cases it was found that the mother's heart to lock up (or stifling) and poisoning the child as evidence of the doctor that her son was really sick.

Indeed, in these cases are often found in the history of antisocial behavior disorders in the mother, who caused his own experience of parenting is one of the parents first. In other cases there is evidence that in fact the mother had somatic disorders such as for example (in medical terms) neurotic disorders, hypochondria, or other disorders that are false). It was also found that mothers who would do this to his son was experiencing a severe personality disorder.

Mental disorder experienced by older people who are aggressive often especially bring the atmosphere of terror in the child's life, especially if any cruelty or violence that happens at random and unpredictable occurrence. As a result, of course it is difficult for children to develop self-confidence and trust in others because they are hard to find an environment that gives a sense of security.

6. Marital problems
One of the greatest happiness in life is to feel warm and full of affection from people who are loved. But everyone can not always feel this way, especially if they are in families experiencing complicated issue that affects not only the family harmony, but the impact to the emotional lives of its members.

As a result, each family member feel the increasing burden of mental or emotional stress continuously increases from day to day. This mental burden will be heavier in families that the atmosphere seemed tense, as in the grave, no one has dared to express emotions and thoughts, and no discretion to act. None of this openness will only increase the tension of each family member.

The experts who adhere to understand systems theory holds, that is true, if people see a child that seems problematic, whether it's adjustment problems, learning problems or other issues, which have sought to know the actual cause is not in itself the source of the child, but rather on parents and the interactions that occur within the family. Because, the real problem child is a sign of irregularities in the family relationship itself. So, the problems displayed by children represents a dysfunction that occurs in family life.

7. Other personal problems
Nowadays a lot of problems that can become emotional and irrational reasons for the action a person, such as the economic crisis, debt, prices of goods go up, rents go up, while prices dropped for lack of self-employment and income. But again, the ability of the parents find out the right way and a healthy, depending on internal factors, such as creativity, mental endurance and fighting spirit, motivation, self-control, and several other factors (see article: dodging the tough times).
In today's times, torture and neglect of children is not only happening at home, but can also occur in schools and in the organization. Cases of suicide and murder and torture that occurred in the school environment has to be evidence that the acts of violence against anyone weaker party, were widespread. It is time for everyone to look forward, what long-term effects of child abuse and neglect so as not to play down the significance of each incident. An incident may not be significant for someone, but it can be traumatic for the children of his or her sense of self is still weak, and many depend on the adults around them. Due to the large environmental influences on the formation of their character and personality, then we need to know early on what the impact of abusive behavior so that we can think before acting, not cheap to say the word blunder.

Impact of Child Abuse
According to various agencies handling of children who receive negative treatment of parents, there are several factors that affect the size of the impact or effects of abuse or neglect against the child's life. Those factors are:

• Type of treatment experienced by the child
• How severe was the treatment experienced
• How long the treatment lasts
• Age of the child and the child's psychological resilience in the face of pressure
• Did the normal circumstances of the child continue to be a reasonable treatment or care

Are there other people or other family members who can love, love, attention and can be relied upon by the child
While it is torture or neglect experienced by children can cause problems in various aspects of life such as:

1. Relational Problem
2. Emotional Problems
3. Cognition Problems
4. Behavior Problems

Relational Problem 

• The difficulty of establishing and developing relationships or friendships
• Feeling lonely
• Difficulty in establishing a harmonious relationship
• It's hard to trust yourself and others
• Unhealthy relationships, such as too dependent or too independent
• Difficult to divide attention between taking care of yourself by taking care of others
• Easy to suspect, too cautious to others
• Behavior is not spontaneous
• Difficulty adjusting to
• Would rather be alone than to play with his friends
• Hostile to other people liked or despised
• Prefer to be alone
• Fear physical relationship with another person
• Difficult to make a commitment
• Too irresponsible or even avoid responsibility

Emotional Problems

• Feeling guilty, ashamed
• Harbor feelings of revenge
• Depression
• Fear of mental disorders experienced by infected parents
• Was afraid he caught the problem to another friend
• Not able to express anger in a constructive or positive
• Are confused by its identity
• Not able to face life with all its problems

Cognition Problems

• Have a negative perception towards life
• Arising out of negative thoughts about themselves, followed by actions that tend to harm themselves
• Give low ratings to ability or achievement self-
• Difficulty concentrating and decreased school performance
• Have a negative self-image

Behavior Problems

• Behavior appears to lie, steal, skip school
• Criminal or delinquency
• Do not take care of themselves properly
• Attitude and behavior unnatural, contrived to get attention
• Complained about difficulty sleeping
• Appear unusual sexual behavior
• Addicted to drugs, alcohol, etc.

Appear abnormal eating behavior, such as anorexia or bulimia
Not all children will show signs of the above because they feel embarrassed, or afraid to admit it. They could have been threatened by the perpetrator not to talk about events experienced in others. If not, then they will get a much more severe punishment. Not ruled out, these kids just loved the culprit. They want to stop the action but do not want the perpetrator arrested or convicted, or perform any act endangering the integrity of the family.

Prevention
Precautions until recently was the best thing to do. Logically, the more populated, the more complex the crisis while the unemployment rate, poverty and ignorance are still high, then the potential for violence against children the greater. Here are some suggestions that can be done:
1. Hotline service
If there are indications or patterns of abuse or neglect, then there is a special institution to help address the problem. Both the victim and family members can contact the hotline number to have his case promptly addressed. One of the institutions for child protection is the National Commission for Child Protection can be seen from their website at www.komnaspa.or.id
2. Education programs for parents
Many parents who do not know that the existence of himself and his actions could be a source of major problems for children later in life, the wrong mindset and an unhealthy upbringing affects the mindset and character of children. Equip parents with knowledge of child psychology and education, to prevent acts of irrational and emotional. In addition, the more helpful if parents are given information about regulations and legislation on children.
3. Protection Homes
The existence of safe houses is necessary to accommodate and ensure the safety of the victim or the victim survival in a transition period until they can find the next step.
4. Parent support group
The existence and cooperation between parents can be a strong safety nets for children. Intensive and extensive communication from one person to another in an organized community can help prevent violence against children. Each party can be a mutual advisor, counselor, protector, helper, motivator that can prevent and help their children who have difficulty relating to violence or neglect experienced.
5. Community mental health center
The role of community mental health centers are not limited to receiving the issue, but more proactive in educating people, building community awareness (not just the campaign) but concretely and consistently implement interactive programs that can involve all elements of society, where people participate actively and was partly responsible for creating a mentally healthy environment, good family environment and the community. It would be nice if the community mental health program was organized in a comprehensive and proactive, to activities to schools, youth clubs, so the program is not an exclusive program diawang-dreamily elusive shape and purpose, but more pervasive in everyday life .

Helps Kids Manage Stress

Similarities & Differences
Based on common sense standards, stress is the same, like it for adults or children. It was definitely not feeling well, such as difficulty falling asleep, more aggressive, more sensitive, the rise of tension, dizziness, or decreased enthusiasm for life. The same thing we will get on how stressful it is enabled. According to the law of life, stress is a neutral function, depending on how stressful it will function, like that to the positive or to negative, it's up to the person. The difference is, adults may have pocketed so that the mechanisms of how stress function, from the knowledge, experience, or expertise. Meanwhile, children may only control mechanism that is still very limited. Associated with mechanisms that function then the term positive stress and negative stress, such as we are discussing here.

Positive Stress is the pressures that make us more positive, eventually. For example, more encouraged to pursue the target, thoroughness, more creative, more disciplined, or more mature, and so on. In contrast, negative stress is a variety of pressures that make us more depressed, getting worse, both physically, intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually, more chaotic, and more backward.

Something else that is somewhat different between children and adults in understanding stresssor. Some of the specific events that may be adult enough stresssor, but for the kids mediocre. Conversely also, there may be events for adults are less of an stresssor, but for the children is not so.

The differences arose because of differences in interests, the range of knowledge, understanding, and the illusion of life. Many volunteers have found no signs of stress that is so severe in children who became victims of the disaster area. Precisely those adults who look stressnya.

So is the case of divorced parents. Often, like "pity" that the adults around them, or are watching them on television. Maybe these kids not to the illusion of life as complex as adults. Only, although the aura of stress is not very visible, but the development of his soul a little more experience obstacles. This is because the child's development that would more or less related to the development of the parent. The simple logic, if parents are difficult, the child also difficult. Parents who are stressed can hardly be expected to have a good relationship with the children, but that's a very involved relationship.

Stresssor For Children
In some very specific things, the children have different sources stresssor adults. As we mentioned above, this may be more related to the nature, needs, or scope. Stresssor sources that are specific to children include school lessons. School could potentially be stresssor when the lesson is given in large quantities, in a very short time, or in a manner that poses a threat according to the understanding of children.

Although in fact he was able to do it or have the capacity to solve them, but about the amount, timing, and how can pose problems. Many children who drop in value when he actually could. This may be a bit like work stress in adults, where there is a load / pressure imbalance with the capacity and resources.

System of teaching in schools today is different from our day, the exam only twice a year. They can be up to 4 times more. If you schedule an exam the next day a teacher, and teacher B homework gives a polynomial, could have led to stress in children.

It is also often a source of stresssor is social. In schools as good as any, there is still a social space which is beyond the control of teachers. The difference is only in the large-small space. The better the school, the better the control well, roughly.

His name is also the children, some among them who had an innate perpetrators of bullying (bully), may also have to carry the characteristics of victims of bullying (weakness, defeat, etc.). Association that poses a threat, fear, unbalanced, and others, very likely lead to stress.

Another thing is the parenting or family circumstances. Model of care that has been didekte by excessive ambition, excessive anger, or jealousy towards other children, it is possible to stresssor.

The indifferent attitude of parents to create a relationship that is felt by children as well as the potential to become stresssor indifference. Marital relationship is not healthy conflict-ridden, the more chronic, it is also a potential source stresssor when all that was spread on poor parent-child relationship.

For children who are "unlucky fate", did not rule out going into a depression or stress is mounting and long lasting. For example, parents are fighting to continue an unhealthy, stern-stern teacher, too. Already then, he was no problem with his theme and his homework piling up. It is very necessary for us to anticipate.

On the other hand, we also still have to think that not all stressors are bad for our children. Perhaps that is the life which he must pass or the "education of the Lord". Directs how we live God's response to education in a positive way to get a positive benefit.

Too quick to take responsibility of the child in the face of stressors (protective), this will not guarantee good results. Might even make a living experience of poor children who are basically bad for children.

Some Symptoms of Stress in Children
Exposure of some experts, there are some common symptoms that we can use as a reminder / attention if your child is facing stresssor or not. Or, at least, we need to intensify dialogue to verify or confirm their feelings.

For children who are still in elementary school, some symptoms include:

• Reluctant to attend school
• Lying without acceptable reason common sense
• Stealing is an indication of impingement kengawuran (losing control)
• Not the spirit of learning or lack of concentration studied
• The loss of a zest for life, so fussy, ngambekan, or not at peace with the state
• Attitudes tend to be opposed
• Hyperactivity
• Bedwetting
• Problem eating
• Easy to complain of pain, such as dizziness, abdominal pain, or other pain

For children who have started a teenager, maybe the end of Grade 6 or earlier entered junior high school (grade 7), we need to observe the symptoms include: a sickly or have many physical complaints, there are behavioral problems, such as prominent naughty , excessive shyness, fear or anxiety, irritability or rapid loss of self control, or lazy to learn.

If she had activities outside the home is beyond parental control, or too free, it may be potentially very harmful to them. Many dangers that engulfed early teens because of the influence of the association.

Some Ways to Help Those
Outside of what we need to do to help children, we need to ask first is what they are thinking to solve the problem. Purpose of the question was not to find the best answer according to us, but to train them led to independence, the minimum in thinking.

In order for the atmosphere and the process of exploration and creative, we need to avoid is the answer or the judge displayed an underestimate, as if the answer is no substance, or immediate cut. Precisely what we need to show is a good listener and stimulate them with questions that make them motivated to think how to find the solution of the problem.

Especially for social problems, not with friends or teachers, we need to avoid is an all-out to defend it or blame it out. Defending no reason to weaken the mental.

Instead, blame the children who are exposed to problems can bring out the feeling nobody helps them. We need to do is focus on the issues and how problems were resolved in a way that makes him smarter or more mature. For the things we need to do as a favor, we can formulate strategies or measures based on their needs. Just as a reference / option, we can refer to the points below:

• Anticipating: helping them with homework or teach in ways that are easier to learn, the more cooperative relationship with the classroom teacher, often in dialogue in order to quickly detected the problem, show genuine concern and support. It can be anticipated stresssor.
• Direct, such as explaining the meaning of or direct the positive attitude. This fitting is used to describe stresssor that had to be accepted, such as death, disaster, or a friend's departure.
• Improve the mental mechanism or strategy. It's fitting to train the child who was a social problem which we are still not yet discussed with the school
• Motivate or encourage him to follow with a real program. For example, the value falls or school punished for his error. We need to do is invite him to increase the quantity or quality of learning. Without a real program, we might lie to them.
• Reported to the school / teacher. If the class is already the practice of bullying is ignored or outside the control of teachers. If there are other children who also become victims, we need to encourage parents to discuss the solution with the school. But, as children, then our focus is the problem and solution, not to his son.

There is a concept that we can translate short sevariatif possible to help them cope with stress. Actually this is also appropriate for adults like us. The concept of the short of it is:

• Allowing, for the things that have not be changed.
• Do something, to do things that can still be changed or altered
• Anticipate the occurrence or effect that can be stresssor.

Only, it takes the process. We can not send children to forget or let something that he thought it hit him. Let also need a process. In many ways, the role of time becomes important.

Different Generations different stressors
It seems not right if we always thought our children were already away from the stressor because life is so much better than our first. In some ways, they are better than us, but for certain things, he's not better than us.

First, our problem may be lack of facilities, such as a school have to walk for miles. But now the problem is bad and the demands of competence and competition. Many children who have to work hard for the school. In essence, every generation there own problems and there are chances of its own. God refers to Himself as a Educator of the universe. As an educator, would distinguish the problems and opportunities. May be useful.

Build Confidence In Children

To make it more simple, I use the term "confident" here as an acronym of self-confidence (self confidence). Confident, as we've discussed here, is the belief that someone will have the ability to display a particular behavior or to achieve certain targets.

In practice, there is such a confident public (general) and there is such a special confident (specifik). We may be confident children learn skills like riding a bike because he had a successful experience in learning this skill. Pede pede is called a special or particular.

Are all confident that a child's talent, intelligence, or mental qualities? There is evidence strengthening the case that all a child's confident it's not talent (in the sense of a special uniqueness different from one another), but rather a mental quality (in the sense of achievement resulting from the educational process or empowerment). That is, all children have a right to be trained to be more confident, according to circumstances.

Since when children can be trained? If you look at his writings Erik Erikson (Vander Zender, et al, 1978), this needs to be trained from the time the child is familiar with the world outside the womb or from an early age. With beranjaknya age, adaptatifnya instinct, the child is berlahan and gradually to cultivate his confident that through various eksperiensi and exploration, for example by trying out something, move freely, and others. Erikson said, parents are able to give love and security, will foster the child's confident. Compassion and a sense of security that will stick in the mind of the child's conclusion: the world turned out to be good so there is no reason to fear.

He said again, parents are smart to develop her sense of autonomy of the child (eg, free play for his decision), the smart channel or parental rights initiative that smart to give the child the opportunity to hone a variety of skill and practice (competencies), it will nurture confident, perhaps in a common area or perhaps in a specific area.

"Well, sir, if the practice goes as planned, that's easy on the run. But is it our children have their own plans that he did not know the consequences. Cook initiative that we let it continue?" Such questions may arise in the minds of us all.

It really was. The children's 'creature' with two sides. One hand, he is being passive, depending on how parents shape. But, on the other hand, he is an active creature, could form himself and even managed to shape the behavior of parents. Most of the behavior and our response is influenced by its role in influencing. Great is not it?

Therefore, we need to return to the principles of the safest. As Alfred Adler said, the model of parenting the most dangerous for the mental development of children is too protective or too ignore. Press the point here is not to protect or ignore, but terlalunya it.


Why should Confidence Coaching?
In general, confident of his child, the better it will be more likely to achieve success according to his wishes, compared with a confident child is low. The same with adults. Because our children will also be an adult, it is important for us to provide a good mental foundation. This is related to the following:

First, the person's confident it will be associated with the choice of his mental attitude toward the task or challenge. A confident person, or his son will choose the high mental attitude "I Can" (The-I-Can-Attitude). In contrast, a confident child is low, although he could, but would feel a little bit difficult, "can not" "scared ah", and various similar expressions. Logically, his confident child is more likely to perform well.

Second, the person's confident it will be related to perceptions in a person waking up in the face of the task or challenge. People who are confident of his good will perceive the task as a challenge or something smaller than him so easy to come up a thirst to conquer it. In fact, she may feel embarrassed if you can not even.

Third, the person's confident it will be associated with the term locus of control. So long as men live in this world, not the person is religious or not, must be exposed to things that are not can be changed again, as the sun rises and sets, there are day and night, man would die. But the nature of such a fate is certain amount is very small. Al-Quran the Bible itself, it is said, simply load no more than 20% of fate that can not be changed. Left to the rest us to select, for example, if we study hard, then our destiny is good, but if not, then our destiny ugly, and so on.

Well, people are confident it will bring as much good solid understanding that his fate is determined more by the choice, life is a choice, or put the locus of control into itself, not a little to rely on God, relying on the state, relying on fate good, or rely on others (external locus of control).

In general, a strong understanding of the positive as far as supported by a good faith understanding. In addition to the above three, the confident it's also related to the high and low arousal to the child's achievement (motivation), it's not in school now or later in his work.

"Destiny is something permanent and only very few in number. The rest is destiny that we Were Left to select"


Some Parenting Is Not Supporting
There are a number of parenting that could potentially threaten the emergence of mental qualities that we call it confident. These include:

Too often give a negative label on a child or minor. This label usually we create by the opinions or comments, for example, we say the child was not bisaan, or more extreme we say he's stupid or dumb, and semisalnya.
Too often cutting process is carried out exploration and eksperiensi the child with too much or too quickly issued a ban on "do not". Sometimes it takes as a result of danger, but sometimes we need to love the opportunity first to no avail. For instance, he wants to interfere our work. If it's possible, he needs our love a chance to prove himself.
Creating a negative comparison. To prove just how great our kids, we appoint someone else's child or friend or brother / sister better as evidence for the attack. This often makes the child feel inferior or threatened. We better use as a positive comparison, for example by saying that if the he can, you can too, even better if you want more keen to learn.
Too ignore the achievements of children. The work of any nature that children should respect, as do we. Density is on schedule parents, sometimes we forget to give credit to the work of the child, so she did not feel any sensation with his performance. Motivation is less evocative.
Threats and fear. Too often led to the statement that smells hopeless or pessimistic, or too negative about life bring understanding, or even commit violence and dictatorship, can also donate seeds to the child's mental keminderan.


Where Self-Confidence Formed?
From studies conducted Bandura (1997), experts Psychology from Stanford University, there are four sources that we can use to foster the child's confident. All four are the following:

First, the experience of life. Referring to here, we need to help children to create as many successful experiences, ranging from small ones. For example, we say a child can not do their homework to the teacher, but we think it can. To fight this, we need to accompany the child process is done until there is evidence that in fact he could.

For example, again we ask him to buy something in store A, which is close to home, and it did not exist. If we look at another store, then we need to quickly led him to not feel constrained, by looking at other stores. If a child knows that he can handle the constraints, then that experience is a testament to his success.

Experience, according to Bandura, ranked top in terms of improving the level of self-confidence. Erikson said, the children's parents were not fooled by empty praise. Children need to be given a chance to prove himself until he has a right to be praised.

Second, the sample or model. We can bring samples to the child, whether it be from friends or relatives (positive ratio). We can also give an example, suppose that we finally managed to handle the affairs after a different manner or that we are not easy to find quickly constrained.

Third, social persuasion. Positive comments or recognition of family, school, or more broadly will increasingly foster the child's confident. Generally, the environment out there to give negative comments. Therefore, as pengimbangnya, we need to give a positive comment. Only, the point is not that he's happy or just to make silent, but to provide explanations and positive motivation.

Fourth, psychological factors. Children whose souls are OK, comfortable clothes to wear, comfortable with her appearance, comfortable with the parents who support it, it's easier to build a sense of self-esteem compared with children whose souls are nervous about acne, the color of her clothes, her hair, or sad much of his parents .


The Important Role of Parenting
In the past, when most of us were children, especially in our parents' age, nature and external circumstances helped us perform a variety of eksperiensi and exploration. Child free play in nature and hardly any area that is threatened by the issue of parental abduction. In addition, the external situation is also challenging to fight, such as lack of facilities, and others. In the end, good cooperation between parents, neighbors, nature and problems of life makes children more deeply rooted in ancient and full of confidence as well trained to face the crisis.

Today, children are more easily get the ease and convenience of life, but also there are many threats and obstacles that limit their freedom to explore and bereksperiensi through the game in the area. Therefore, it may be time we are more oriented parenting methods "everyday" Life's forging skill and attentiveness of the child overcome the problem independently. May be useful.

Psycho problem parent & How To Treat Children

Some research on the psychological problems experienced by parents and influence the actions of torture and mistreatment of children or can be differentiated as follows:

• Mental Disorder or Personality Disorder
• Depression
• Drug Addicts / Alcoholics
• Marriage Problems

Mental Disorder or Personality Disorder
Rose Cooper, a researcher named Thomas who conducted research on the relationship between mother and child, found that mothers who experience a mental disorder Schizophrenia (with a tendency indifferent behavior), it tends to produce a child whose behavior is rebellious, wicked, distorted, or even anti-social . But instead some are withdrawing their children to be like, passive, dependent and less tractable. Other researchers also found that mental disorders result in a disruption of the mother of the child's identity development.

The same discovery also revealed that the Obsessive Compulsive disorder experienced by the elderly is closely related to their attitudes toward child neglect. Therefore, Obsessive Compulsive disorder makes it a lot more people thinking about and doing rituals on the responsibility of raising children.

Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy

Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP) is a mental disorder that is usually experienced by women, in this case a mother to her child (usually in infants or children under age 6 years) and usually result in the child must get serious treatment in the hospital. The disease was first described by Meadow in 1977 was detected pathological elements that lie in the everyday life of the mother since the first until now.

In severe cases, the children are constantly exposed to situations that threaten the safety of his soul, and the mother are doing from the outside it looked gentle and sincere. Dangerous mental disorder that can result in the death of his son because in many cases it was found that the mother's heart to lock up (or stifling) and poisoning the child as evidence of the doctor that her son was really sick.

Indeed, in these cases are often found in the history of antisocial behavior disorders in the mother, who caused his own experience of parenting is one of the parents first. In other cases there is evidence that in fact the mother had somatic disorders such as for example (in medical terms) neurotic disorders, hypochondria, or other disorders that are false). It was also found that mothers who would do this to his son was experiencing a severe personality disorder.

Depression
Another study conducted by Chaffin, Kelleher and Hollenberg (1996) on children whose parents have depression or psychopathology. According to them, parents who are depressed often found physical abuse against their children. Their children also reported experiencing problems such as depression, interpersonal problems, bizarre behavior and having problems at school or in the study.

Drug Addicts / Alcoholics
Families that alcoholics tend to be more unstable and unpredictable behavior. Any rule can be changed at any time, and often easy to deny the promises ever made. Similarly, the upbringing of the child's parents. Parenting often fickle applied inconsistently, and there is no room for family members to express their feelings as it is because of the restrictions and prohibitions to discuss â € œkeburukanâ €? family.

Therefore the other members is required to keep secret so that no involvement of outsiders and so that no one knows their family problems. This situation of course makes the depression, frustration, anger, discomfort and anxiety in the hearts of his children. Often children think they have done something wrong that caused the parents have a bad habit. As a result, distrust, difficulty expressing emotions appropriately, and the difficulty of close social relationships and true, an issue that carried over into adulthood. According to research some of the experts, the children of these families are more at risk to develop the habit alkoholismenya in adulthood than children from families who are not alcoholics.

According to research Chaffin, Kelleher and Hollenberg (1996), drug addicts are reported to be the most common factors considered to be the cause of abuse and neglect of children and do not care which way is right or wrong.

Marriage Problems
One of the greatest happiness in life is to feel warm and full of affection from people who are loved. But everyone can not always feel this way, especially if they are in families experiencing complicated issue that affects not only the family harmony, but the impact to the emotional lives of its members.

As a result, each family member feel the increasing burden of mental or emotional stress continuously increases from day to day. This mental burden will be heavier in families that the atmosphere seemed tense, as in the grave, no one has dared to express emotions and thoughts, and no discretion to act. None of this openness will only increase the tension of each family member.

In general, young child which is a victim of an outlet of tension, anxiety, resentment, anger and all negative emotions that can not be excluded. Why children are weak position, depending on the parents and helpless, so easily become the target of aggressiveness parents without providing resistance. As a result, in some cases physical violence against the children of parents just because their parents can not control his emotions encouragement.


The experts who adhere to understand systems theory holds, that is true, if people see a child that seems problematic, whether it's adjustment problems, learning problems or other issues, which have sought to know the actual cause is not in itself the source of the child, but rather on parents and the interactions that occur within the family. Because, the real problem child is a sign of irregularities in the family relationship itself. So, the problems displayed by children represents a dysfunction that occurs in family life.